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Why I’m quitting self-care.

Posted 8th November 2020 by Jennie

Hello beautiful,

Does this sound familiar…?

You’re exhausted, drained; fine one minute, crying over videos of kittens the next. 

Yes? Then you don’t need self-care. A bubble bath just ain’t gonna cut it.

Darling, you need full-on restoration.

Like a beautiful antique chair that’s been battered, bruised, and hauled up and down numerous flights of stairs, you need a serious mental refurb.

So forget a quick buff and polish, it’s time to bring out the heavy-duty tools…

Set your boundaries — again.

I know, I know, you’ve already done this. Back when you first started working from home. But be honest: have those boundaries started to blur? The family are a bit less diligent about storming in when you’re mid-Zoom meeting. Or your boss has started emailing after hours and expects a swift reply.

If you’re working at your kitchen table and edges are beginning to blur, find a way to clarify them again. Stop checking email after 6pm. Definitely stop checking them at the weekend. Stick a lock on your home office door or at the very least paste a sign on it to tell your family members when you can and can’t be disturbed.

Give yourself a digital detox.

Have you found yourself scrolling social media even more frequently than usual?

Of course you have. Because you’re searching.

You’re looking for that one article that’s going to convince you everything is going to be okay. That they’re going to find a vaccine, that it’s going to work, and that you’ll have access to it any day now. You’re looking for the news that they’ve just about cracked a full-proof treatment plan that’ll make COVID as harmless as a stubbed toe. Only, the more you search, the more you find articles that depress and disturb you.

Here’s what to do.

First up, realise that when they find a breakthrough treatment/vaccine that means life can go back to normal, you WON’T miss the news, even if you haven’t checked your phone in the last hour. I promise!

So step away from your phone for a bit. Give yourself a daily limit or switch it off a couple of hours before bedtime so you aren’t filling your head with doom and gloom right before you go to sleep.

Secondly, adjust your social media feeds. For now, unfollow the pages that stress you out and focus on the ones that always leave you feeling uplifted. Find the pages that hashtag the hell out of all things hygge. Find the pages that exist purely to share videos of puppies being hilarious. Or the ones dedicated to beautiful countryside photography.

Connect, connect, connect.

As you disconnect from your phone, take the time to connect with the people you love. It’s worth repeating: we need to stop talking about social distancing and call it what it really is: physical distancing.

Whatever restrictions we’re facing right now, find a way to keep your connections thriving.

Get back on those Zoom chats for a cocktail or board game night. Grab your cosiest winter coat and brolly and brave the elements for an outdoor walk with your friends. And make the most of the people in your bubble by finding any excuse to introduce extra touch into your relationship. Hold hands while you’re watching a movie, give even more hugs than usual, spend as much time as possible cuddling your pets — it all releases oxytocin into your system and helps override the ‘2020’ anxiety you may be feeling.

Rediscover gratitude.

This might be a little harder than usual — but that’s all the more reason to make it a priority.

And most of us really do still have a lot to be grateful for. Sure, 2020 hasn’t been the best year ever but maybe you got to spend more time with your kids. Maybe you’re grateful for the time to reflect and reprioritise. Maybe you discovered that you don’t need expensive trips abroad to really relax and unwind.

Whatever it is, focusing on the positives this year has brought you will give you an instant mood lift whenever the constant stream of bad news threatens to bring you down.

And, if you need a little extra help finding the good in your year, why not sign up for my free gratitude advent event. I’ll pop into your inbox every day in the run up to Christmas with a gratitude prompt that’ll leave you feeling infinitely calmer, more grounded, and more resilient.

Or, for an even bigger dose of pre-Christmas joy and relaxation, get your hands on one of my Mimosa 12-day advent calendars. It’s combination of wellbeing guides, restorative self-care rituals, and all of the luxury skin care products you need to create at least 3 pre-Christmas facials, you’ll feel as good as new well before the big day. I promise! 

Jennie x

Filed Under: Uncategorised

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